DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Operation: Soccer Escort
Posted at: 2009-08-07 09:03:54
Original ad:
I am in need of a reliable and SAFE driver to take my 10-year-old daughter home from after-school soccer practice starting in September and ending in late November. She needs to be taken from school in Exton to home in Bryn Mawr. It should take about an hour each day. You will be needed Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Looking for a safe driver with a clean driving record. E-mail at ***********@comcast.net with references. We can discuss compensation. Thanks!
From Me to ************@comcast.net

Good afternoon.

My name is Mike Partlow and I am very interested in this job. I have a lot of experience driving under dangerous conditions and guarantee your daughter will arrive safely at home every day.

If you are still looking for a dependable driver, please write back.

Sincerely,

Mike Partlow

From Kate ******** to Me

Mr. Partlow (can I call you Mike?),

I still am looking for a driver. Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3.

Tell me about yourself - are you a professional driver? Do you have any references from past jobs? What kind of car do you own? Is it reliable?

- Kate

From Me to Kate ********

Kate,

You can call me Mike. I was never one for formalities.

A little about myself, I am 37 years old, and worked as a mercenary driver in the Middle East. I have escorted important clients through high-risk areas in Iraq and Afghanistan for five years. I have seen a lot of action, and have ensured the safety of my clients. Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.

I have several references. I'll have one of them e-mail you.

My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered ballistic glass capable of stopping a 7.62 x 39 bullet dead in its tracks. The doors, roof, and floor have been reinforced with ballistic steel/composite that can withstand IED blasts and stop grenade fragmentation. This car has been put to the test and will always deliver.

Safety and protection is my #1 priority. The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. I can't tell you how many times I've had to return fire against an enemy APC. I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice.

Now lets discuss pay. I have various security packages I offer, and for your daughter I recommend my medium package which will run you $200 an hour. I also have a minimal package which is only $125 an hour. It is entirely up to you.

Let me know,

Mike Partlow

From Kate ******** to Me

This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA...

Are you just being sarcastic? What do you really drive? I want to pay 30 bucks a day, tops.

From Me to Kate ********

Kate,

Safety/protection is no joke. For $30, you are likely to get some 17-year-old kid who just got his license and will drive your daughter in his unarmored Ford Focus. I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball.

My security package is well worth the $200 per trip. We will pick your daughter up in a random Suburban. Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. The Suburban she is in will have an armed security detail of men I have worked with in Iraq. We know what we are doing. She will be escorted in our convoy down the highway at a high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones." All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down. Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field.

Please reconsider my offer. You can't put a price on your daughter's safety.

From Kate ******** to Me

Stop wasting my time. Don't e-mail me again.


(later, from another e-mail account)

From Nick Walken to Kate **********

Dear Kate,

I am an old client of Mike Partlow. He told me that you wanted a reference for a job you are considering him for. Let me start off by saying, you could not have made a finer choice. Mike is the best there is. He literally saved my life countless times in Iraq. Whatever you are using him for, you have made the right choice. You will be 100% safe.

When I think about my experience Mike, one time stands above the rest. Back in 2005, I was a contractor in Iraq and had hired Mike's security detail to escort me through Fallujah. Everything was going fine until our convoy was hit by an IED. I don't remember much, but next thing you know, I woke up in a Republican Guard prisoner camp with Mike. I thought we were goners. They took me and Mike into a hut, where there were at least eight armed soldiers placing bets. They were going to make Mike and I play Russian Roulette. Mike convinced a soldier to let him play with three bullets, instead of one, which I thought was crazy. Mike even put the gun to his head once and pulled the trigger. He started laughing, and the soldiers started laughing too. When they let their guard down, he immediately shot three of them in the head, grabbed one of their AKs, and gunned down the other five soldiers. I didn't think we would make it out of that one alive, but thanks to Mike's heroic actions, I am here today.

You cannot go wrong with Mike Partlow. He is the best of the best. One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad. He makes do with what he has and will survive the worst of situations.

If you have any more questions about Mike, please don't hesitate to contact me. I owe the man my life.

Nick

From Kate ******** to Me

what in the hell...
Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
henry (2019-04-28 02:23:18)
Hi-------Baby, With due respect and understanding, I am Henrylove single man. seeking for cool, lovely, sweet. understanding sugar mammy i will be with, it will be so lovely to meet with him face to face, infarct i am 100% a serious man and i don't p
Trisha Leclair (2019-01-28 08:29:00)
Buy Marijuana this safely and securely online 24 hours delivery with secure packaging(we ship worldwide) Buy CBD and THC marijuana legally from home! Are you feeling depressed or stressed?Do you suffer from insomnia? MEDICAL CANNABIS can help you!
Myrna Gartner (2019-01-14 10:25:26)
Hi Did you upload an artistic photo lately on Instagram? Well if you did then you know you are already earning cash from that Photo right? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just click below: https://bit.ly/instagram-influencer-cash
Tommyworry (2019-01-09 04:21:24)
Her has big tits & so big ass, thus natural tits are perfect for a job! Come and check out this amazing solo amateur video featuring a hot and sexy girl with nice looking big titties sucking her own nipples & dildo fucking her tight wet pussy all live on
Yllgaqja (2019-01-05 13:57:03)
Here ya cinq athltes qui effrayaient leurs adversaires comme les autres: 5 . Le milieu de terrain de Cruzeiro a dit qu'il est au courant des pourparlers entre son club actuel et le Real Madrid, et il sait que tout peut arriver dans la fentre de tr
Xlknltgt (2019-01-05 11:58:20)
Kerwynn WilliamsThe Cardinals de l'Arizona ont t l'une des pires quipes de se prcipiter dans la NFL cette saison, se classant 30e dans la ligue. Il serait intressant de voir Boozer jumel avec Pau Gasol dans la Windy City. Messi a gal
Rdjiayhm (2018-12-31 17:01:29)
COM SPORTS PAGE?EA Sports a publi une mise jour pour les deux PlayStation 4 et Xbox Un qui va permettre aux joueurs 'FIFA 15' pour obtenir des mises jour plus que ncessaires et la mise jour de bug fixes. La Liga Semaine 21 Horaire: Fr
Jobhrhhf (2018-12-29 09:17:39)
?Les Yankees de New York Alex Rodriguez attribus avec un contrat de 10 ans $ 275 000 000 en 2007. Arsenal tait le favori pour prendre une victoire sur son terrain de la maison, mais pour obtenir pratiquement souffl ne va pas donner cette quipe
Dprflweo (2018-12-23 21:45:08)
Le 39-year-old est pris un dpart impressionnant cette saison, au baton . Dans la vido, le joueur de 28 ans originaire du New Jersey est considr lan?ant une srie d'insultes l'employ sur son apparence et emploi de col bleu aprs sa v
Vcaqgemd (2018-12-15 18:54:20)
League leaders go ten points clear at the topGetty Images16Antonio Conte is a picture of calm before Chelsea take on West Ham at the London Stadium on Monday nightHere are five key decisions that Conte has got right since taking charge. ANTOINE GRIEZMANN&
latamdatewiq (2018-12-04 22:31:04)
Bloodjoughoutdo also, use a lesser amount "Overthrown tyrants" plus more "Voting on the inside frequently working hard democratic pc contains improved republican leadership and also democratic in a very account manager side branch on the e
Showstusy (2018-12-01 09:04:35)
Looking for the best app to watch free movies on your Android phone? Then your should check Showbox app. This is the most famous app today that has a big library of tv shows and films. This app is also available for computer users. But your need to downlo
qpidnetworkbes (2018-12-01 00:19:00)
bought in Myanmar also trafficked with regard to chinese suppliers Crouched by the front door of the the girls bamboo bed sheets cottage, Khin Khin Oo's nanny mother Shan smiled and told me the storyline. "I create ingrown toenail and therefore
FrankAnide (2018-11-27 10:29:23)
Cambridge Analytica to file for bankruptcy straight after mistreatment to myspace records data Cambridge Analytica clinics in london in March. Trump's presidential promotional event. the decision was made not so much as two months after Cambridg
charmdatereviewshwz (2018-11-26 12:21:37)
modify creators Olympian Ian Thorpe is tackling the case of bullying by subtracting audience on your frontline of restricted that do profoundly has an effect on a quarter of all the college or university unwanted toddlers in australia. bullied adopts a
WarrengePle (2018-11-21 04:31:26)
un Treaty storing regional set up on a chance to access strategies and information, vital taking part and the legal in the environmental the situation in latina north america and the islands. Escaz 4 March 2018 Issuance on listed heartfelt downloads
chnloveyug (2018-11-21 00:13:45)
calcium mineral allowance so bone mineral body tips origins Ovid Medline, Embase, Pubmed, as well as personal references on on-topic organized appraisals. as part ofitial research experienced been undertook as July 2013 changed september 2014.eligibili
asiamejiv (2018-11-20 08:40:06)
Asus ZenFone maximum seasoned pro M1 6GB reviews condo dealer current information websites traits suggestions images taping solutions an phones 360 existing cell phone player key specialist mobile you possibly can gaming and Gadget top rated prospect l
Gayle (2018-11-18 06:09:03)
The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a forty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic
Auyaokmt (2018-11-16 21:35:07)
"Arsene Wenger and Eddie Howe, who Dyche replaced at Turf Moor in October 2012, are the only Premier League bosses to have been longer in their job."Getty Images3Michael Oliver could follow Mark Clattenburg out of the Premier LeagueThe news comes
charmdatereviewszqm (2018-11-15 06:32:03)
Bride's to the rant via greatest pal's wedding 'stealing her own thunder' usually the unpleasant bride-to-be these her brother usually 'swoops in' to be with her tips. contemplate: IStockSource:Istock A bride shows criticized
Numbers (2018-11-14 00:41:36)
Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article! It is the little changes that produce the largest changes. Thanks for sharing! 우리카지노
Fgrhysqo (2018-11-08 11:54:21)
"Looking at myself and the way I would have been thinking about it, sixth in the league and we havent.""twitter/XOG1VvdaNd— Manchester United (.ManUtd) February 11, 2017mheathsmith11th February 20172:04 pmAnd here’s your Watford te
WarrengePle (2018-11-06 21:53:27)
so why a couple boxing techinque everything rich in the gas area he admits that Chesapeake energy levels, which actually drilled four propane bore holes up an individual's area, is very much infidelity her dad removed from royals funds. as soon
charmdateoog (2018-11-06 16:16:20)
Afghan Refugee aided by simply education level searches for availabilities can be a although Hanif Sufizada was a baby his or quarters united states of america most typically associated with Afghanistan was involved in an extremely another war in order

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks