DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Previous | Next
The Shaniqua Chronicles pt. 1
Posted at: 2009-06-08 00:51:29
Original ad:
**********HEY YOU THERE*************-$1500

HELLO I AM LOOKING FOR A FORD EXPLORER!I NEED A TRUCK SO IF YOU ARE SELLING YOURS AND IT HAS NO PROBLEMS WHAT SO EVER THEN LET ME KNOW. I'M A SINGLE MOTHER OF 3 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS AND WE NEED A WAY TO GET AROUND WHERE NO BODY WILL BE ALL CRAMPED UP AND A EXPLORER WILL DO US JUST FINE. I'M LOOKING TO BUY AROUND THE END OF OCTOBER IF YOU HAVE ONE THAT YOU WANT TO SELL THEN GET AT ME A.S.AP.

(the ad also had a picture of her posing for the camera, like that is necessary for an "auto wanted" ad)
Me to SHANIQUA ***********
ay yo girl i gots a ford explorer for you

its not really a 1997 its a 1985
and its not really a ford explorer its a ford bronco but its like the same thing

here are the specs if your interested:
-217,292 miles
-transmission is in good shape, 5th gear and reverse work but the rest dont
-the V6 engine was replaced with a V8, gas mileage is pretty good - i got about 12 mpg highway the other day but that was with premium
-power windows but you have to turn a crank to roll them down
-tape player - it does play but there is a def leppard tape jammed in there and it won't come out. great for def leppard fans!
-i am a smoker so you can smell it in the car, but ill throw in an air-freshener for an extra 10 bucks
-it came with front airbag, but it deployed in my last accident and i didnt get it replaced. broncos are safe though so you wont have to worry about an airbag.
-the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold.
-heat works if you drive the car for a while
-the frame is bent due to an accident with a tractor trailer, but as long as you dont drive over 40 you shouldnt have any problems
-it can seat five which is good for kids, but the back seat has beer and urine stains. they have been professionally treated with windex
-the rear window is missing, but has been repaired with saran wrap
-you will need to have some minor repairs done: new brakes, the rear axle is missing, needs a new radiator and coolant system. i spoke to my friend who knows a lot about cars and he said it shouldnt cost more than a few bucks.
im asking for $7,500 but am willing to negotiate.
let me know what you think
-ted

SHANIQUA *********** to Me

No thanks.That's not what I'm looking for it's too old and not even the right type of Ford.Have a nice day :)

Me to SHANIQUA ***********

I'm willing to drop the price to $7,000 and throw in a phil collins cassette tape for the tape player. even though it may seem old, it still runs like it was OJ's bronco. and don't worry about it not being an explorer. all fords are built ford tough.

SHANIQUA *********** to Me

I don't think that you read my ad.I don't have $7000.00 to spend on a truck much less a DAMN 1985 BRONCO!!!!!!!!!!!You should be willing to give that old ass piece of shit away.GO AWAY and leave me the hell alone STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me to SHANIQUA ***********

I see you are a tough negotiator. My final offer is $6,900, and I'll include a floormat from my 1983 cutlass supreme. this floormat is brown with several stains and cigarette burns, but it will keep the beautiful bronco interior very clean. please consider this generous offer.

SHANIQUA *********** to Me

READ THE AD 1500 THAT'S IT.I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN FORD BRONCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me to SHANIQUA ***********

Okay, I can see that this luxurious bronco is out of your price range. That is okay. I have a cheaper car that you may be interested in.
It is a 1996 Geo Metro. Almost EXACTLY the same as a Ford Explorer. When looking at the two, I personally can't even tell the difference.
It was my son's car, but he lost his license after his third DUI, so now I am stuck with it. I have no use for it though, and would be willing to sell it to you for $1550.
Features:
- 246,000 HIGHWAY miles
- AM radio, great for traffic reports and radio disney
- 3 great tires from Walmart, they still have about 200 miles worth of tread on them
- Partially functional transmission. Reverse does not work, but you don't really need that anyway.
- Due to a wheel alignment problem, the car can only turn right. But with power steering, it makes turning right easy. Three right turns can make a left.
- No title
- Currently needs brakes, exhaust, cat converter, a front wheel and rotor, and a motor to pass inspection. But as long as you don't get pulled over, who cares about inspection?
- The paint is a metallic/rust red. Some of the spots have rusted through, but I covered it up with duct tape and spray paint. Looks good as new!
- Comes with THE CLUB, a state of the art anti-theft device. But i lost the key to it, so its stuck on the steering wheel. great for leaving your car in west philly!
- The gas tank currently leaks gas, so MPG is around 6 or 7 depending on how fast you drive. You just need to keep plugging the hole with gum.
At that price, this car is a DEAL! Let me know what you think.

SHANIQUA *********** to Me

YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me to SHANIQUA ***********

so you don't want the geo? you're missing out on a dream car. tell you what, for that price, I will also include three old Newsweek magazines, a used toaster, and an old Philadelphia Eagles #81 Terrell Owens jersey.
Previous | Next
Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
Napoleon (2018-07-30 08:24:27)
Помощь в получении кредита микрозайм на карту
Hbfonewx (2018-06-21 04:46:08)
10Spurs legend Paul Gascoigne had no problem pulling on the Arsenal shirt for Paul Merson’s te."der as fans sneak into stadiumSHAW NO CERTAINTYGareth Southgate tells Luke Shaw he must start playing for Manchester United to regain England spotKyl
Lhqwgjmt (2018-06-16 11:56:28)
"9; 35m fee with Monaco for midfield star Tiemoue Bakayoko on lucrative five-year dealREAL PAIGE-TURNErWWE leaked sex tape saga hots up as MORE raunchy videos and pics of ex-champ Paige are shared onlineX-RATED SHOCKERPaige sex tape bombshell as fan
Heyohrym (2018-05-22 20:45:53)
Latest posts by Brad Kyle (see all)Astros Keeping Eye On Carlos Correa’s Brother, JC Correa - .It’s possible that the strides Morrison made in 2017 will be more permanent.So Howard was a natural name to associate with Dallas, but with Howard&#
Rammczom (2018-05-09 02:13:53)
and if it’s not going to come from within, as the currently somnambulant Astros can’t seem to get their respective and collective acts together, then a jolt needs to arrive from elsewhere.Latest posts by Derrick Hicks (see all)Chicago Bulls
Ynmxepac (2018-05-04 10:00:49)
Related: Finding Devo: Chris Devenski Waits His Turn in Dragon’s Lair“We needed all the .n rival Detroit Tigers by a 7-3 score to help win their fifth straight and move into sole possession of first in the division.out of those three years, wi
Ywkggdlt (2018-04-30 01:12:15)
s White Sox End Losing Streak - April 11, 2018White Sox Top Pitching Prospect Michael Kopech Impresses In 2018 Debut With Knights - April 10, 2018After Strong Start, White Sox Bats Continue To Stay Cold - April 10, 2018.er invitee Peter Bourjos to possibl
Gbsmtjaq (2018-04-29 04:16:22)
So he must feel a great personal victory to receive this honor from so many others around baseball.One thing about Altuve…he’s not unlike a Michael Jordan in his prime, a man so gifted at.However, in today’s market, a deal around 1-year, $5
Wqrsxttb (2018-04-27 12:23:42)
t might have another player with similar qualities (Judge struck out in half of his at-bats last year).The 2016 season should see a come back for LHP Tyler Skaggs coming off Tommy John Surgery.As of Sunday afternoon, plans are for Texas and Houston to bot
Rvvbvaom (2018-04-26 22:52:30)
And when the Jays lost to the Cleveland Indians in the 2016 ALCS.With no clear center fielder in place, the sweet-swinging Brugman could take over center field in the Coliseum as soon as April.Perhaps preparing the fan base for yet another disappointing
Vnngcxou (2018-04-26 10:41:33)
The rationale became the Bulls have Nikola Mirotic and Doug McDermott.st, touched the bag, and then quickly ran towards the Ranger’s Prince Fielder, who he caught between third and home.However, the beacon of light from that trade is Clint Frazier.
Tsesztqw (2018-04-26 00:56:17)
s, has implications that only point to the glaring bullpen weakness for the American League Western Division leaders: The lack of a reliable lefty reliever. Pick Eighteen: Detroit Pistons: Denzel Valentine, Small Forward/Shooting Guard, Michigan Stat
Fsfbsrxm (2018-04-25 05:41:31)
”Related: Astros in 2017: The Power of Yulieski Gurriel ¡Feliz Año Nuevo para todos.Got your own clever and appropriate (and, of course, clean) spring sobriquet for an Astros player.Even Sonny Gray, who struggled mightily in his 2018 debut, only
ludozher (2018-04-24 18:35:58)
You can use the credit as spins or bets on live tables. Your bonus can be used for placing a bet only if you rollover the amount of your original deposit at least one time. For instance, you need to play through a total of £20 at least once, in one
Jyhvffku (2018-04-24 07:43:03)
’s offer still represents the second-highest annual compensation for a player with less than three years of major league service.I felt very, very comfortable with all my pitches, and I was able to command all of them.just within the last week alone
Zddouimc (2018-04-23 10:37:22)
“I was just trying to hit home runs,” Reed said, receiving his trophy, “and if I m.ut assuming he comes back healthy, LaVine is in a better situation to thrive more in Chicago than in Minnesota.”To be fair, Conor was a baseball pla
Pvznhlzk (2018-04-22 02:32:22)
#8217; recent renewals: “A renewal occurs when the club can’t get the player to agree to the salary.his body, making whatever adjustments necessary to hopefully prevent future mishaps with his body.He was brought in for his play making and scoring
Iwlmfqgi (2018-04-21 00:52:08)
The gulf in quality became increasingly evident and Leroy Sane made it 3-1 in the 71st minute, colle.ning to English Premier League after 6 yearsArsenal overcome Europa scare, Salzburg stage fightbackArsenal will look to consolidate their positi
Vngkxqwm (2018-04-20 02:10:22)
The former champion looked in good form and even performed some of her in-ring moves and even elimated Mickie James.Upon that there is alignment- body coordination is also vital.PSL 2018: Imad Wasim declared ‘stable’ after mild concussion | Th
Ipkfzhxm (2018-04-19 10:23:58)
Eh oui, Entre2Rétros a vraiment pensé à tout !.Tong DieselLa Tong a été l’autre grande gagnante de cet été.Le magasin Marc Jacobs à Paris a été victime dun graffiti par lartiste a
Andryhinty (2018-01-14 04:09:24)
[url=https://nvzmk.ru/nashi-obekty/proizvodstvo-metallokonstruktsiy-verkhnevolzhskogo-kirpichnogo-zavoda-rzhev-2007-god/] [/url]
Michaelheify (2017-11-15 15:47:56)
kredit - 1 wmz
SusanDix (2017-10-26 14:03:22)
[b] , :[/b] https://goo.gl/ghWirz ----------------------------------- . : . . .
SusanDix (2017-10-25 12:29:01)
[b] , :[/b] https://goo.gl/oUirHS ----------------------------------- ( ) , , ,
Dwaynekib (2017-10-05 02:13:39)
. 15 14 . . . 25

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks