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Nebraska Moving Service
Posted at: 2009-06-09 00:51:29
Original ad:
I need a large sectional couch and table moved from Norristown PA, to Lincoln NE. Give me a quote, I am offering $1000.00 but am willing to negotiate. You should be able to fit it all in a 16` truck.
Timmy Tucker to ****************@**********.org

Hey,

I saw your ad on ********** and think I can help. I regularly take my Ford Festiva to Tallahassee, FL, and I could drop your stuff off along the way.

Let me know if you are interested,

Tim


David ********** to Timmy Tucker

wtf? lincoln is not on the way to florida. are you serious? it would never fit in your festiva anyway.

Timmy Tucker to ****************@**********.org

Dave,

Please do not underestimate or insult my Festiva. I swapped the motor with a Ford F350 and am completely capable of towing your sofa on my boat rack. You can even sit on it if you like.

Lincoln is on the way to Florida, and I would have no problem dropping your couch off there, as long as you drop your attitude with me.

- Tim

David ********** to Timmy Tucker

yeay your full of shit. you have a truck motor in your shitty little festiva? bull fucking shit. do you even know where lincoln is? its in NEBRASKA, dumbass! how the FUCK is that on the way to florida

Timmy Tucker to ****************@**********.org

Dave,

I don`t appreciate you insulting my car. How would you like it if I insulted your couch? Hopefully I won`t have to resort to that. I am aware that Nebraska is a little bit out of the way, but I was willing to do this out of the kindness of my heart. Now I am seriously reconsidering.

- Tim

David ********** to Timmy Tucker

I DONT WANT UR FUCKING HELP WITH UR SHITTY LITTLE CAR. GO AHEAD INSULT MY COUCH OOH IM FUCKIN SCARED

Timmy Tucker to ****************@**********.org

Dave,

I warned you not to insult my car. Well I have something to say about your couch. It sucks! The cushions are probably old, ripped and crusty, and sitting on it is very uncomfortable. Your table sounds like a piece of shit too. Fuck you. I hope you never get laid on that couch again.

- Tim

David ********** to Timmy Tucker

FUCK OFF
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Ford Festiva? lumeneo smera would have been funnier
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Kendra (2012-07-02 19:25:10)
I finally had the common sense NOT to read these at work anymore. I just screamed. I started at the beginning of the archives. LMAO!
FINALLY (2012-07-01 09:58:01)
read all , post more please !!
I DID IT (2012-07-01 04:02:17)
I read them all,"sigh" now time to go get a life.
Holo (2012-06-16 21:32:00)
Oh god, This is like Sheldon Cooper!
IDK (2012-05-25 21:04:23)
@anonymous Who cares if it was in England first, they were talking about Lincoln, NE.
João Ramalho (2012-05-03 19:33:27)
I can't believe you insulted his couch like that! That was way over the line man..
Sean (2012-04-27 15:19:28)
Huh, I'm from lincoln.
Davegrrd (2012-03-06 16:51:52)
I have an ad for a furniture retailer on the side.
anonymous (2012-02-29 01:10:18)
This dude is a try hard David Thorne. But I suppose imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
anonymous (2012-02-22 08:37:53)
@T - i think you will find that 'pillshere' is correct, Lincoln was certainly in england first, so i think you owe him/her an apology...
Radha (2012-02-03 02:06:39)
dude u r brilliant !!
taco bell (2012-01-30 13:50:48)
I hope you never get laid on that couch again.
Indigo (2012-01-03 11:08:38)
UNCOMFORTABLE TO SIT ON lololol
miami (2011-12-26 06:47:05)
You can even sit on it if you like. rothflmao....omg
T (2011-12-12 00:38:48)
@PillsHere Lincoln is the capital of Nebraska, genius.
PillsHere (2011-12-01 05:59:50)
Lincoln isn't in Nebraska, it is in England, what a dumb bitch
Johnny Eyeball (2011-10-19 13:10:47)
"How would you like it if I insulted your couch? Hopefully I won`t have to resort to that."
Paul (2011-09-28 22:04:24)
I could stuff a Ford F-350 engine in a Festiva...
Dave (2011-09-20 21:09:15)
FUCK YO COUCH, NIGGA
Icalasari (2011-09-06 03:15:54)
I would accept that offer upon hearing how he would plan to move the couch, as long as he paid for gas and if I could take pictures. That would be a HILARIOUS sight!
goths r losers (2011-08-23 12:00:36)
I hope u never get laid on that couch ROFLKMFAO
david bergertton (2011-08-20 17:04:12)
@ d johnson. Fuck u mate.thats my email!
Johnny bradabskiert (2011-08-15 11:53:29)
HAHAH under me hahahahaha xD
David Johnson (2011-08-09 23:05:47)
WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID THIS EMAIL END UP HERE. I WILL FUCKING SUE THE OWNER FOR THIS. THIS MOTHERFUCKER WILL PAY!
shit (2011-08-07 05:50:16)
*at work Fucking blackberry
shit (2011-08-07 05:48:15)
Why does everyone go to this site sst work ? I'm a boss better go check om my employees
ZIM (2011-07-26 19:08:56)
DIE ALL YOU WRETCHED HUMANS!!!!!!!!!
... (2011-07-05 11:44:38)
It's ironic that he told him to fuck off after he said the couch sucked even though he said " GO AHEAD INSULT MY COUCH OOH IM FUCKIN SCARED!"
ROFL (2011-05-28 08:52:23)
I would have said yes just to see a festiva with a damn 6.7 liter turbo diesel engine in it lmao
Caitlin Dube (2011-05-27 19:25:27)
I lover this so much!!!! Haha he is hilarious
anonymous (2011-03-26 01:55:22)
The hell? I would say sure and give you a nice tip and maybe coffee for doing that ._.
anonymous (2011-03-23 21:07:36)
"GO AHEAD INSULT MY COUCH OOH IM FUCKIN SCARED" Had me in tears from laughter.
Slacking@work (2011-02-18 13:38:37)
"How would you like it if I insulted your couch? Hopefully I won`t have to resort to that." LMFAO that had me nearly in tears.
Buck Jones (2011-02-09 23:40:06)
I'm not sure which is better. This one or the one with the Jurassic Park car. Fucking Hilarious either way!
Oldret (2011-01-27 22:59:45)
"I hope you never get laid on that couch again." BLOT
John (2011-01-21 02:09:51)
Haha FUKK YO COUCH NIGGA.
Testes (2010-12-20 14:59:00)
Hey, I wish this site would put more emails up. I just bought the book for my brother. I haven't seen an update in a while. I'd like to see at least One a week. What's the deal?!
whatthefuckdoyoucare (2010-12-10 14:23:25)
agian!!?? musta ben his gwammy
VOLDEMORT (2010-10-07 00:32:47)
At G: lolz thats perfect
G (2010-10-03 12:11:55)
I imagined Niles Crane saying ''Well I have something to say about your couch. It sucks! The cushions are probably old, ripped and crusty, and sitting on it is very uncomfortable''
i hate hicks :) (2010-09-26 14:05:47)
i hate hicks :)
me (2010-09-26 14:04:33)
hey budd, its supposed to be a joke. lol
vemma1320 (2010-08-01 19:48:47)
I find myself coming to your blog more and more often to the point where my visits are almost daily now!
Vlad (2010-07-28 01:04:44)
LMAO @ "I don`t appreciate you insulting my car. How would you like it if I insulted your couch?"
Jonez (2010-07-23 02:39:21)
"Well I have something to say about your couch. It sucks!" Hah xD
buy vemma (2010-06-21 13:09:19)
I just sent this post to a bunch of my friends as I agree with most of what you’re saying here and the way you’ve presented it is awesome.
Tilgare (2010-06-16 11:04:07)
What's great about this one, is that it didn't seem terribly outlandish... for $1000 bucks, deviating to Nebraska would only extend the trip to FL by a couple days and would probably be well worth it... but the guy is a total douche.
Annebelle (2010-06-13 15:46:19)
HAHAH. i actually laughed at this one,& i didnt for the other ones =)
Black Person (2010-06-07 20:32:12)
@Angry Southerner Slavery. Nuff said.
Angry southerner (2010-06-04 22:52:23)
What's wrong with rednecks? And why would you put bleh? I bet your really weird in real life, like you sit at home and play WOW or some bs. Ain't nothin wrong with being from the south you douche bag
emma (2010-06-03 14:20:15)
@blah technically you can end sentences with a preposition
anonymous (2010-05-20 08:05:54)
I couldn't stop laughing after "You can even sit on it if you like"
Marcus (2010-05-01 23:28:52)
haha "blah" got owned
Wow retard (2010-04-07 00:28:44)
Sorry, Blah, let me try that again. You win by being the one with the most brains and wit, which apparently, this guy has none of, asshole.
dd (2010-03-28 03:48:22)
I hope you never get laid on that couch again. He probably never was! :D
blah (2010-03-23 22:02:00)
@poster below At least we morons don't end our sentences with prepositions like uneducated rednecks.
Wow retard (2010-03-19 15:24:17)
The guy that thinks David won this exchange is a complete moron. You don't win an argument just by being the one that swears the most. You win by being the one with the most brains and wit, which apparently, this guy has none of.
Kirk (2010-03-16 16:46:28)
LOL!! You added the table!!!! LOL that was really tasty icing on that cake!
anonymous (2010-03-15 17:59:47)
Sorry dude, but you were the pwned fuckhead in this exchange, David bitchsmacked you into next week.
anonymous (2010-02-24 20:24:30)
Your table sounds like a piece of shit too. hahahaha
Rofl (2010-02-23 14:21:54)
These comments say a lot about the country they come from. Hahaha pathetic
anonymous (2010-02-17 16:41:28)
how the FUCK is that on the way to florida??
Joel (2010-02-17 13:50:07)
Damn I felt insulted and im not even a couch.
jutty (2010-02-11 02:04:18)
Fuck you. I hope you never get laid on that couch again hahaha
Mayor of Lincoln (2010-01-11 09:00:57)
First off Lincoln is a fine city to raise a good christian family. We have good parks, schools,entertainment and corn that serves as an endless supply of cheap dildoes.
daevablacc (2010-01-11 06:31:11)
"There is nothing bland about Lincoln, NE . We love to corn husk." Well, that certainly proves us wrong, lol
jpizzle (2010-01-09 23:04:58)
Fuckin awesome lmao! Definately should have hit him with the fuck yo couch nigga!!!
daley (2009-12-27 18:36:50)
the funny thing is that the other guy is the complete dick this time :L
anonymous (2009-12-17 07:09:11)
@awwwww...its not an epic fail when someone uses unique comedy rather than uses a line from an extremely over rated comedian. go watch george lopez and laugh at his hispanic accent accompanied by retarded jokes, you newb
4who? (2009-12-03 02:08:01)
my little shitty car!? what about your little shitty couch?clearly your a fucktard,wtf are you doing paying $1000 to move your ugly piece of shit fucking sofa,its not worth shit!r u smuggling drugs in there or something?
awwwwwwwww :( (2009-10-29 19:05:12)
The guy left a "FUCK YO COUCH, NIGGA!!" opportunity wide open and it wasn't utilized. Overall this was a funny one but that oversight made it an epic fail. :(
guy (2009-10-29 13:00:10)
lmao!!!!! FUCK YO COUCH!!!
anonymous (2009-10-28 23:44:24)
This one was weak. The other guy won this exchange.
anononononmous (2009-10-22 11:51:18)
Hey Hey.
paco (2009-10-07 14:38:19)
"How would you like it if I insulted your couch? Hopefully I won`t have to resort to that." LMFAO almost died laughing
Why bother? (2009-09-26 15:31:16)
Why even bother censoring Craigslist or hiding it in your FAQ? We know thats what it is and you have missed censoring it quite a few times in your write ups!
anonymous (2009-09-17 22:46:21)
eoff needs to get a life
Joe James (2009-09-16 15:50:59)
"How would you like it if I insulted your couch? Hopefully I won`t have to resort to that." HAHAHAHA!
Kevin (2009-09-10 18:13:44)
Woohoo, shoutout to Tallahassee, FL
--- (2009-09-10 08:26:28)
"I've been to Lincoln, Nebraska and hell, you know it ain't worth shit." Dallas Green's lyrics are gospel. case closed
oopaksarben (2009-09-08 16:39:44)
Nebraska is full of hillbillys.
Corn Husker (2009-08-28 22:47:52)
There is nothing bland about Lincoln, NE . We love to corn husk.
Chern! (2009-08-28 15:00:49)
I don't know what is worse, the blandness of Lincoln, NE or the ghettos of Norristown, PA
ASK (2009-08-27 03:46:34)
Wow that guys was such an asshole. He could've just politely declined his help.
me (2009-08-26 14:55:02)
EOFF-sounds like someone is a little homophobic or maybe just a little confused/trapped "in the closet". lmao
Eoff (2009-08-23 05:43:59)
Nice try, "john", but your name gives you away as being one of them! Is it fun to hang around public bathrooms all day trying to look at little boys' pee-pees, then sniffing the toilet seats and beating off? STFU, gaywad.
john (2009-08-22 21:58:40)
eoff im pretty sure your the only one who thought of that so your the fuckin perv not us and ur ruining the country gtfo plz
Eoff (2009-08-22 13:44:10)
I noticed that this joke email, like all the others, has a sexual theme. Yeah, I'll bet you can fit it in your Festiva all right, you fucking pervert! Normal people don't want to hear that shit. You dirty queers are wrecking the country.
A. Nonymous (2009-08-22 03:09:39)
To the idiots that take the joke comments seriously: YOU'RE THE IDIOTS HERE, AND YOU'RE ONLY MAKING YOURSELVES LOOK DUMB!
Bitch (2009-08-21 09:09:42)
So motherfucking funny. LOL
mmehhh (2009-08-06 09:11:02)
for some reason, when i read this to myself... his replies are always in will ferrel's voice. nioce.
fan of Carl (2009-08-04 12:02:12)
You rule, Carl!
badger (2009-08-02 18:22:33)
"...sitting on it is very uncomfortable." So harsh, bet he never even saw that coming.
me (2009-08-02 02:25:43)
too fing funny. wow.
Jack (2009-07-31 01:20:43)
Fucking Brilliant! You deserve the Pulitzer!
At Roachkilla (2009-07-24 02:25:44)
Don't worry, this guy definitely isn't the first person to do this. You're not stealing anyone's ideas.
ROACHKILLA (2009-07-24 01:21:07)
this has inspired me to create my own version. just for fun. i might be posting it on some blog but idk. thank you and this ones really funny
Carl (2009-07-24 00:57:02)
Hahaha and Timmy Tucker is ridiculous, too. Why does he think the other guy will care that he's insulting his couch? What an idiot.
Mac (2009-07-23 20:49:16)
carl youre fucking retarded
Jania (2009-07-23 17:49:15)
Carl = Fail
Carl (2009-07-23 01:54:56)
Hahaha, I get it, he really DOES have an F350 motor in the festiva, but the other guy won't believe it so he can't get the job! This is funny.
efsadf (2009-07-22 13:42:37)
I lol'd beginning to end on this one. LMFAO.
TubgirlFanForLife (2009-07-21 00:07:10)
Lulz im from tallahassee fl
haha (2009-07-20 00:54:40)
Fucking gold. I laughed out loud and four of these total - this one for sure. Love this line "How would
anonymous (2009-07-17 14:54:55)
Wow Duncan, thanks for providing an executive summary of what everyone just read. Brilliant.
maybe (2009-07-15 22:45:56)
i love when the caps come out.
omg (2009-07-15 14:07:35)
HAHA, omg youre funny
foetusfat (2009-07-14 22:06:31)
leave the jokes to those with wit claire
Clair Newhouse (2009-07-13 08:32:05)
Dave, I beat you to it, but next time make it subtle...
/ (2009-07-12 20:58:03)
dave you're an idiot too please tell me you're joking
dave (2009-07-12 13:45:43)
oh
LOL (2009-07-11 02:33:48)
Claire is a dumb CUNT!
Clair Newhouse (2009-07-11 01:35:56)
One born every minute.
anonymous (2009-07-11 00:10:14)
Clair are you retarded? Do you not understand the meaning of this website? Or are you just being what you 'think' is 'clever'? If you are, its actually called, 'annoying', so why not 'fuck off'?
Clair Newhouse (2009-07-10 23:39:10)
That's so dumb, florida is miles from Lincoln. Buy an atlas jerk!
anonymous (2009-07-10 08:34:00)
Oh my god I just fucking lost it when he said he was so scared then he insulted the couch
pz (2009-07-03 15:00:25)
fuck yo couch
Travis (2009-07-02 21:12:15)
I laughed the most at this one. Nice!
anonymous (2009-07-02 18:23:59)
I just fucking lost it! Absolutely amazing!
Duderino (2009-07-01 16:32:46)
This is the best one yet. Absolutely brilliant.
TrueFan (2009-06-30 04:45:30)
This is my favorite one yet! I like how you keep cool, rational replies while the other guy resorts to ALL CAPS.
very uncomfortable (2009-06-25 03:53:49)
sitting on it is.
booyaa (2009-06-24 10:37:00)
please don't insult nebraska. or the festiva. i love both. and this email string.
SimonTuffGuy (2009-06-22 21:28:24)
Hello from FordFestiva.com - :)
Monikka (2009-06-22 08:15:50)
'Dave, Please do
Brad (2009-06-22 05:22:13)
My life is complete after reading that.
Reader (2009-06-20 21:03:55)
Your table sounds like a piece of shit too. This is pure gold!! If you don't keep this stuff coming, I will be very upset.
Jonathan Toth (2009-06-20 12:24:13)
That made me laugh hard. Very Pythonesque.
MasterRaiger (2009-06-19 03:55:42)
It's great!!! My neighbors have a car that has like 600 horse power and it's smaller than a mini cooper!!! THEY CAN DRAG 2 BOATS!!! So epic!!! The person your talking to totaly fails! You were willing to go out of your way!
Bill E Goat (2009-06-18 20:38:39)
This is my fucking favorite! Fuck Nebraska
still laughing (2009-06-18 12:29:05)
i just got in trouble at work for laughing so hard at this website. i'm literally crying from laughing...
anonymous (2009-06-18 00:35:49)
on my boat rack hahahahahahahahaha
anonymous (2009-06-17 23:11:51)
"Please do not underestimate my festiva" HAHAHAHHA
anonymous (2009-06-17 16:37:57)
I love the polite tone in the beginning!^^
Mike s (2009-06-15 00:45:44)
Soo fucking funny. "I don`t appreciate you insulting my car. How would you like it if I insulted your couch? Hopefully I won`t have to resort to that"
anonymous (2009-06-13 04:53:47)
dude.. you are a genius, all of your e-mails are fucking halarious, one day, i hope you mail me and piss me off, it would be an honor
anonymous (2009-06-12 23:33:03)
16' truck... what the fuck was this guy looking for, a trailer? an actual MOVING truck? like the ones you rent in the real world?
Everyone (2009-06-12 20:55:56)
You make assholes everywhere proud. You are one funny motherfucker, keep up the good work!
Google (2009-06-12 19:57:05)
"How would you like it if I insulted your couch? Hopefully I won`t have to resort to that." Hahah!

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